My hands were shaking but it was done, only a click and I had changed the set of my life. I never thought I would be brave enough to do it, some other times I had this idea passing by but I never had the courage. I could even feel the cold sweat, it was a sign of the consequences of what I had just done. A one-way plane ticket.
I didn’t sleep on it, I didn’t talk to anybody about it, not even to myself, just impulsive. Suddenly it was done; decided. I was scared but I was not stepping back.
The rays of that sunset were sneaking through the blinds of the window and crossing the room. The wind was wet and it was moulding the white curtains while my bare feet were feeling the cold from the floor. A shiver went up my back.
I wonder what made me so bold, which was the last straw that broke the camel’s back on that late and hot evening.
Average guy, average life. Really? I don’t think so. I have seen people around me excel in playing an instrument or sports or painting; even non artistic but in their own vocational job; and I am happy for them. I am from the others though, the ones from the crowd, and actually, very comfortable, I can’t complain. Thinking out loud I must admit I never worried about anything, my passion is my wellbeing. Isn’t it enough?
I feel anxiety, I cannot believe what I have just done.
Nobody is going to support it nor understand it. I don’t even understand it myself, how am I going to explain to anybody else?
I can feel my heartbeat, it is clearly high, I am excited. Alright, I have one week to go to prepare all this mess.
